C'est la vie, mais le monde n'attend pas

Coming clean

2009-01-06T02:10:20Z

A few years ago, I let my heart take a bit of a bruising. I allowed myself to be played and then convinced myself that deep down I had known all along, trying to justify my naivety. Then, last March, when I finally realised I was still stuck on a treadmill at the starting line, I called it a day and attempted to start over. I had the freedom, but lacked the courage, and so it all just got swept under the rug. Out of sight, out of mind.

A new year has begun, and I'm ready now, to leave it all behind. This will be my final post to this journal. I'll soon start another, but there'll be no announcement or grand return. Should you happen to find me, we'll be strangers once again. Understand, I'm not running away, and I'm not hiding. I'm perfectly happy to build new friendships with anyone who wanders my way, but all of the thin, golden cords that run over the oceans between my heart and others have, with time, all burned out.

Bah humbug

2008-12-27T14:31:40Z

I'm ill. Again. I spent Christmas day coughing and blowing my nose and trying not to fall over.

I feel like there's an elephant sitting on my chest.

I'm so sick of this bullshit. I want to smash things.

Home at last!

2008-12-22T17:14:56Z

The past couple of weeks have been so eventful, but at the same time, not. You know when everything is just completely chaotic but you never really achieve anything by the end of it? It's the little things that grace your days that really stand out, like watching your friend slip up bum first on ice, or being caught looking a bit gormless with a mouthful of tuna and salad wrap by someone you like while out Christmas shopping, or a really great (albeit brief) hug from someone who, okay, may be ridiculously drunk, but means a lot to you and doesn't give hugs very often.

Yesterday, it was a rather cute text that made me smile in the back seat of my dad's car, (printer on my lap), as we set off to leave the lights of the city behind. I'd messaged a few people to say I was off, and one replied:

"Ok bambino, have a white christmas you'll never forget, ha. Much love x"

I wonder what the new year will bring for me. Not change, I hope. I love Leicester, and my course, and my friends. I'm finally happy.

Three wishes, a few facts and a photograph

2008-12-16T01:57:46Z

I wish I were the size and shape that I was three years ago.

I wish I could go home tomorrow instead of having to wait until after Friday.

I wish I still had the self-discipline and time to get back into maintaining an art journal.

I am, once again, beginning to fade from Tyler's mind, as I had expected.

Lately, I've been going back to colour some of the linearts in my old art journal.

I'm fed up of living in an igloo and plan to buy a heater.

Today, I finally got round to uploading my photos from Halloween.

The kidnap of daylight

2008-11-29T17:56:06Z

Today feels grey. I don't know why. I had a wonderful night last night, made a few new friends, and tonight is set to be even better. There's a superheroes theme for charity and Harry and I are going as Team Rocket from Pokemon because we thought it was superheroes and villains. I guess villains are still heroes, depending on what kind of person you are..

Wait. I know why. I made a friend last night who reminded me of someone I used to be close to.
Canadian boy, I miss you. I hate you, but I miss you.

Writer's Block: Wild Rumpus

2008-11-14T17:20:58Z

A lot of characters in kids' books have it pretty good, from calling the start of the wild rumpus to ordering room service from their hotel suite. If you could be any character from children's literature, who would you be?

View 500 Answers

When I was younger I dreamed of finding an ancient, secret place, silent and forgotten and whispering with history. Digory Kirke in the Chronicles of Narnia not only has a rather intriguing-sounding attic, but is the first person from this world ever to set foot in the Wood Between the Worlds, or any of its pools. Imagine how many there could be, and he only ventured into two. Two! I know Narnia is enchanting and all that but if it were me, I'd set out on an expedition, because the best part is that you can explore and discover forever and a day and still get home in time for dinner.

Dinner and a meme

2008-11-13T13:53:00Z

Both my parents and my sister came and picked me up on Tuesday night. All of them. Mum got out and helped me put my stuff in the car, and then stepping into that warm, familiar car when I was so, so run down was the best kind of remedy I could have gotten. The first thing my sister did was cuddle me. Five weeks, I found, is far too long for me to go without seeing my family.

I fell asleep on the way home. As a general rule, I can't sleep in or on anything that moves. I remember passing a few of the old hospital-journey milestones and the next thing I knew, I was being woken by Dad because we were sitting on the driveway. Mum, Fiona and I went inside and Dad drove off up the road again to fetch chips for dinner.

You know how every house smells different? You know the smell of your own home, and when you walk into other people's houses, it smells different. When you go on holiday for a fortnight and you come home, the best part is the smell of your own home when you open the door. I'd been in Leicester so long, it smelled strange. I was so used to the smell of 42 Gaul Street, but suddenly it was like I'd never left home.

I just can't explain how glad I am to be home. I don't want to go back this evening. Christmas can't come soon enough.

I wasn't tagged, but this is from torreadora. So, assuming 'I' and 'me' are her..

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
No.
02) What was your dream growing up?
I was always told you can't make a living out of being an artist. Well, ignorant world, that depends on what kind of artist you want to be.
03) What talent do you wish you had?
I wish I could play guitar and sing.
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A smoothie made from the fruits named below. And I'd buy you a cranberry one. :)
05) Favorite fruit?
Pineapple. Though lately rivalled by Mango.
06) What was the last book you read?
I'm halfway through 'Labyrith' by Kate Mosse.
07) What zodiac sign are you?
Cancer. Ironically.
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
Just the basic lobe piercings, one in each.
09) Worst habit?
Procrastination.
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
If I had a car and/or driving license, of course.
11) What is your favorite sport?
My favourite at school was always rounders, because I suck at batting and catching and it usually involved a (relatively) soft ball.
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
Neither, specifically. Depends on the circumstances.
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
I'd put 'Human Thing' by the Be Good Tanyas on my iPod and give you one of the earpieces.
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
I couldn't pinpoint one specific thing, because my philosophy has always been that it could be worse.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
When I'm old and my skin is too big for my shrinking bones, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be one of the ones who has a droopy between-the-chin-and-neck area.
16) Do you have any pets?
Two lop-eared rabbits and a goldfish.
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
I'd take you inside and (after an abundancy of hugs) make you a cup of hot chocolate (because it's shockingly cold outside) before making up the sofa for myself so that you could have my bed (because we don't have a guest room).
18) What was your first impression of me?
You were very enthusiastic about art. :)
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
Neither, I think they're stupid. Most of them can't even model balloons properly.
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
I'd like my lower half to be proportionate to my upper half, and not like a giant pear with chicken drumsticks for legs.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
Crime partner, without a doubt.
22) What color eyes do you have?
Green.
23) Ever been arrested?
Nope.
24) Bottled or tap water?
Tap. It's cheaper. :D
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
That's about £5,000 so I guess I'd probably give it to Leicester Royal Infirmary to help them finish the TCT Unit.
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
My room. I'm pretty introvertive at heart, I like my space.
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
Sometimes.
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Relax. It's a rarity these days.
29) Do you swear a lot?
Only when I'm angry.
30) Biggest pet peeve?
It changes all the time, depending on the last thing to piss me off.
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Childish.
32) Do you believe in love at first sight?
No.
33) Favourite and least favourite food?
Favourite would be something like, chicken goujons and sour cream. Actually, practically anything and sour cream. Least favourite is probably spicy food.
34) Do you believe in God?
Not anymore.
35) In one word, how would you describe me?
Lucky.

Homesickness

2008-11-11T13:29:26Z

I woke up yesterday feeling like I'd swallowed a razorblade. Throughout the course of the day it rapidly progressed, until I found myself shivering but sweating, with a head like a sauna containing a marching band, and it hasn't yet subsided. I feel so drained and deflated.

I miss my family so chronically I could cry. I want to be wrapped up in one of my mum's cuddles, or better yet, one of my dad's. I want to curl up on the sofa with my sister and our duvets and watch movies.

I'm supposed to have an assessment at uni today. I've already missed loads, meaning I'm lacking a great deal of work that I should have done and it's weighing on my mind, but I just can't physically get out of bed. I wish someone would just tell me what to do to make it right.

One day left

2008-09-18T23:28:43Z

Tomorrow is my last day of work before I go back to uni. I start my course on Monday, so I'm hopefully moving on Saturday. I have so much to do, including my yet-to-be-started summer project, which I'm supposed to have been working on all holiday. I'm not even freaking out yet. I always do this. I never, ever learn.

I hereby vow, that after this summer project and its approaching drama is over, I will complete tasks AS AND WHEN THEY ARE SET.

I don't know if I mentioned before but I have a new camera. It's absolutely manificent and I'm completely smitten. It's a Canon EOS 450D. Anyway, I've been thinking, and now that I have a new camera and a new course and new friends to share good times with, I might start a photo journal.

I really need to get this under control.

Ten things

2008-09-04T12:33:09Z

Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list ten things you LOVE that begin with that letter. Post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own.

I was given M.

1. M. Night Shyamalan; After watching Signs, I couldn't get to sleep without something filled with water next to my bed. To this day, I still get paranoid about tall, spindley-limbed creatures concealed in the darkness who can read my mind. I'm too chicken to watch The Happening, as of yet.

2. Memory boxes; I found several of these when I was clearing out my bedroom. When I was little, I romanticised about finding something from a long time ago, hidden away under a floorboard or in a secret room that nobody knew existed. I compiled boxes of things that were special to me and hid them in various places for some other little girl or boy in a century or so.

3. Making gifts; Nothing is more satisfying than giving something you made yourself to someone you care about.

4. Music with a meaning; Which of the following lyrics appeals to you more? "And I can't get enough, so let me get it up, ooh looks like we're alone now" or "and that was all you said, but it filled my head, that's why I almost stayed, but the fare'd been paid."

5. Meals; I like when my belly is rumbling and I've got a lovely big plate of food in front of me.

6. Melinda and Jim; Ghost Whisperer's leading lady and her husband, who have the most perfect, equal, loving marriage you could ever imagine. Jim's the kind of guy every girl wishes for.

7. Mail; Getting mail hasn't been as exciting since I turned eighteen, but I still love when a handwritten envelope or package comes with my name on it.

8. My Chemical Romance; Scoff however much you like, but Gerard was once there for me when I needed somebody to listen. I had some things to say, but had nobody to say them to, and so I told him. I did so because I assumed that this particular listener couldn't speak back to me; a response wasn't what I was looking for, but I got one anyway. I wish I could tell him now, how much it meant to me.

9. The Moon; I've always wanted to live there, in a spectacular dome-shaped house built into a crater.

10. Mythology; Stories of legends and beasts and heroes are the best kind of all.

Eye of the storm

2008-09-02T18:05:01Z

It's been raining all day, and the grass and trees and hedges seem to emit their own veridian glow, in the tiny patch of sunlight now left in the sky. I just caught a white-blue fork of lightning against the dim sky, which is a strange mix of amber and grey this evening as the sun illuminates the translucent, heavy clouds. The colours of the garden astound me right now, they're so vivid; the green is set next to the rust-coloured sheds and bricks and plantpots and branches.

While global warming is a dreadful prospect, it's brought our mediocre little island the most inspiring weather I've ever seen. I've lately been surrounded by colour and glow that takes my breath away.

And I have returned to Northern skies

2008-08-31T10:46:48Z

1. My uncle once... had a lorry drive into the side of his caravan halfway down a French motorway.
2. Never in my life... did I think I would be the first "one in ten" in my biology class to fight Cancer.
3. When I was five... my sister was two.
4. High school... was lonely.
5. I will never forget to... think twice about trusting people now.
6. Once I met someone who... idolised scooby doo, and was braver than anyone I know.
7. There’s this boy I know... with whom I never know whether I'm coming or going.
8. Once, at a bar... I got the only hug ever to match the quality of my Dad's hugs.
9. By noon... I shall hopefully be fast asleep.
10. Last night... there were storms over the Pyrenees, and I closed my eyes, imagining the lightning illuminating the mountains below.
11. If only I had... a family who actually gives a shit when I have a panic attack in the middle of an airport and pass out.
12. Next time I go to church... Skittles will rain from the sky and trees will start sprouting little shiny gold coins.
13. What worries me most... is the prospect of having to do it all over again.
14. When I turn my head left... I roll my eyes and groan, knowing I have to tidy all that up.
15. When I turn my head right... I see good, old, bleak British weather.
16. You know I’m... really, unfathomably tired.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties... is being an only child.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare... I'd like to be a little less pathetic than he wrote most of his female roles to be.
19. By this time next year... I'll be preparing to return for the second year of my degree in Graphics and Illustration at De Montfort, Leicester.
20. A better name for me would be... something I'd have to think about.
21. I have a hard time understanding... why people smoke.
22. If I ever go back to school... is a scenario that doesn't apply to me as I'm still a student, but if I went back in time and did compulsory schooling again, I'd prefer to go to a boarding school.
23. You know I like you... I just don't have the patience for your quiescence anymore, boy.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be... whoever gave it to me, duh.
25. Take my advice, never... fall asleep on your stomach wearing a bikini in Mallorca.
26. My ideal breakfast is... a little bowl of peach slices and a hot, buttery croissant.
27. A song I love but do not have is... 'Smile Away' by a good friend of mine named Prince.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest... lunch from Baguettaway, but don't sit down the side of the TSB, unless you want to eat amongst wasps and cigarette ash.
29. Why won’t people... just let me be myself?
30. If you spend a night at my house... you're likely to be roped into looking at old photographs.
31. I’d stop my wedding for... the opportunity to say what I have to say, to whom I have to say it to.
32. The world could do without... George W. Bush.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than... get trapped on a ward full of Bulemics.
34. My favorite blondie... song is Dreaming.
35. Paper clips are more useful than... my brain.
36. If I do anything well it’s... imagine.
37. I can’t help but... wonder why I care.
38. I usually cry at... the end of a panic attack or the beginning of a migraine.
39. My advice to my nephew/niece is... kick, scream, argue and demand as much as you want to, because it'll serve your mother right.
40. And by the way... I'm home.

Goodnight.

The journey

2008-08-25T13:53:32Z

This is what I wrote when we were in the car, on the way to Gatwick.

I wish I could show you what I see right now, exactly as I see it. We´re soaring down the motorway under a cerulean sky. The sun is illuminating the contours of vast white giants that speed overhead as we travel, making the lowest layer seem as if they´re suspended like mobiles from the atmosphere. They look close enough to reach out and touch, real and corporial.

The hills roll out from the horizon, veridian and still. Crops shimmer gold in the glorious light, as the breeze ripples amongst them. Through my sunglasses, everything has a memorable sepia tinge, but nothing could surpress these colours.

This is summer.

iTouch the sky

2008-08-23T18:57:20Z

I'm sitting in gatwick airport, waiting on our flight to Magaluf. I have an entry I wrote in the car earlier, but there's no copy and paste facility on my iPod Touch, so hopefully I'll get the chance to type that up soon if there's a computer in the hotel.

We should arrive around 2am local time, so not much will be happening immediately. I can't wait to go swimming, though, and I fully plan to draw there; I've packed my kit.

Anyway, this is using my phone credit because I'm using a tmobile hotspot, so catch you later! (;

Baby steps

2008-08-18T21:30:21Z

Mum was having a clearout in her room yesterday, and look what she came across!

The clipping reads:

Terry and Aileen (nee Buchan) are delighted to announce the safe arrival of their daughter, Lorna Olivia, 9lbs 6ozs, at 5.55pm June 24th, 1988. Many thanks to Kettering Maternity Unit and an extended thank you to all at Corby Medical Centre.

Contrary to the look on my mum's face in that photo, she was delighted, she just had Bell's Palsy when she had me. (No, really!) I'm told I was about three months old in that photo.

I had two wristbands, because for a short period after I was born, I wore my mum's name and was referred to as 'Baby Dixon', until a name was decided upon.

I need to start gathering things that inspire me, for my summer project. Objects.

On Wednesday I'm off work because I did 5 hours on Sunday. We're going through to Leicester to view the house once more, sign the contract and then go shopping at Fosse Park. Only five days until we go to Magaluf! I desperately need comfortable summer clothes.

I've started colouring the lineart I posted a few entries back, but as with everything right now, it's been put on hold. I have to sort my room out once and for all because the case containing all the clothes I brought home from Uni needs to be emptied so we can fill it for the holiday. This means clearing out old clothes that don't fit anymore to make room for it all, except where do I put the old stuff? It's such a flipping puzzle, finding homes for everything.

Also:
◦ I've now developed an extensive list of albums I desperately want, and there's nothing I can do about it.
◦ I got the invite in the mail for Find Your Sense Of Tumour 2008. SoexcitedohmyGod.
◦ My to-do list is longer than ever now. The only things crossed off are my LiveJournal layout and the boxer cutout for the call centre.

This revolution starts when you're moving

2008-08-10T23:57:29Z

New LiveJournal layout is underway, as you can see. Not yet finished, though. Managed to (mostly) finish my Myspace layout though, which you can see here.

Vanessa's in Mexico or somewhere, on holiday with her family. I miss her. A lot. ):

I went to visit my cousin's husband today to see if he could clarify my university summer project a bit for me, seeing as how he's a graphic designer. He succeeded, and now I feel really blonde because it's actually pretty straightforward. I guess I'll find it easier once I get started with generating ideas.

Yesterday, Fiona and I went into town and the nice man in WHSmith gave me one of his cardboard display points for me to make a boxer cutout from. The call centre has a competition going, and each team has to follow a participant in the Olympic Games, and decorate their area in the theme of their sport. Guess what our theme is.

I'm seriously dying to get back to Leicester. I miss my friends something chronic. Can't wait till Jamie moves in so I can go stay over on the weekends until my course starts and I move in properly too.

I convinced Fiona to get a LiveJournal account too. (: Got to make her a nice layout; another thing to add to my ever-growing to do list, which is now as follows (in no particular order, which is exactly the problem):

◦ Fiona's LiveJournal layout
◦ ~~Finish my LiveJournal layout~~
◦ Uni summer project
◦ Colour lineart
◦ ~~Make cardboard cutout of boxer~~
◦ Knit rest of iPod socks (sorry, I haven't forgotten!)
◦ Finish room (yes, still.)

Never changing but always moving

2008-08-03T16:55:30Z

It's raining. My dad cut the hedges in the garden this morning and there's a glistening scattering of leftover leaves, like the remains of a spring wedding. There's something magnificent about the clouds today. They seem more corporial than usual; they have sharp outlines and crisp contours, sailing overhead like giant marble sculptures.

Yesterday, I went into town with Fiona. She unknowingly put me wonderfully at ease and now I feel closer to her than ever.

I also began writing My Story. For now, it just consists of a few paragraphs on the notes tool on my iPod, because while I lay awake in bed last night, it occurred to me where, exactly, the beginning took place.

I've written random tasks that need to be done on pieces of paper and put them in a box. I just drew the first one. LiveJournal layout. So please excuse the messy half-formed style. (:

My sisters and my brothers, still, I will not kiss you

2008-07-28T22:15:50Z

I've felt awful all day today. Fiona and I had a haircut appointment this morning; luckily, Jo comes to the house, so I got up early and showered and sat there actually crying while she snipped, because I just felt that ill. It never actually came to anything, but the anticipation is worse.

So I've pretty much spent the day in bed, which I hated because we've been getting such ridiculously hot weather lately, and it made my head all woozy and cotton-woolly. Since I didn't go to work, I thought I might have gotten my new lineart (see previous post) coloured, but I'm such a baby when I'm ill. I think I must have said a total of two words today: "no thanks" to the offer of food from Mum. I remember when I was in hospital on ABVD, I'd lay there, staring at the tiled ceiling and its vents, so still that sometimes even I wondered if I'd died. I wouldn't be touched at all if I could help it, and Mum learned to realise what I meant when I'd sit up quickly and whimper in panic at what I knew was about to happen.

Only an emetophobic could have avoided it happening again for three and a half years and counting.

The wood between the worlds

2008-07-27T21:48:22Z

Life is an adventure of exploration, so take the hand of someone you trust and jump in, because you never know, it might just be your Narnia.

To win some or learn some

2008-07-25T22:10:42Z

I'm excited. :) I just convinced Vanessa to start a LiveJournal, and I have art in the works; I've gotten shrouded in that glittery, magical frame of mind that comes with the birth of ideas.

I'm currently battling with serious cravings for the following albums:

Dressed Up Like Dreams by Backseat Goodbye
Used And Abused by Danger Radio
We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things by Jason Mraz
Also, I want an album by The Script. They'd best hurry up and release one or I might actually die.

I might go to the cinema with Fiona over the weekend, to see that new.. Angus, Thongs & Whateverit'scalled movie. Don't you dare laugh. If not, maybe I'll hang out with Sam. Damn, that reminds me, I still need to do that tattoo design she asked for..

Going back to the corner where I first saw you

2008-07-23T19:29:29Z

Today has been an almost-perfect reminisce of summer. I had the day off work because I went in on Sunday, so Fiona and I got up early this morning to glorious sunshine, and headed into town. I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I spent £72 on clothes, and all I have to show for it is a skirt, two tops and a cardigan, but I needed them. I bought lunch for us both from Baguettaway (who make the world's most delicious filled baguettes) and then we had to head back for Fiona's driving lesson at 2.

This evening, for dinner, we had a barbeque, which we haven't done in a long time. Fiona and I sat and read our books in the sunshine (Fiona's started 'Slam' by Nick Hornby, and I'm working my way through 'The Chronicles of Narnia') while the smell of cooking burgers and sausages drifted throughout the garden. Now I'm sitting here, flicking through my old art journal, drinking in the nostalgia for times gone by. Seems like all I ever do these days is dwell on the past, because without it, the present is incomplete.

This makes me laugh now. I think I might do a version two.

I hereby strongly reccommend this song.

Choose your colours!

2008-07-19T12:59:14Z

And I've screened comments so that you can leave me your addresses. (:

Well I don't think we have to be like this forever

2008-07-19T01:46:39Z

Today's been a tiring day. Argued with Fiona for most of it. Though I know, logically, that it's because of my late nights and exhausting days, I still get that little voice in the back of my head telling me lethargy is a bad omen. Will that ever go away?

I'm going into town in the morning, to waste the remainder of my birthday money on things I need instead of things I want. What's new? We're going to Magaluf on the 23rd of August, and I don't even own a pair of shorts.

I seem to be on a knitting kick, and I'm still in awe over the fact that I learned how to purl, finally. I think tomorrow I'll also buy some yarn in different colours but same thicknesses. I've been trying to mix colours with what I have, but it comes out tapered because of the varied weights.

Hello darkness, isolation time again? Goodnight, then.

Blank stares at blank pages

2008-07-11T22:58:52Z

I've been waiting all day for the elusive iPhone & iPod Touch 2.0 Software Update. Apparently, Apple hadn't accounted for the fact that half the planet awoke early this morning especially to hit that check for updates button, so now their servers are dead due to a severe overload. You'd think the people who came up with multi-touch technology would have more common sense.

I was late out of work again today. I got this really impatient lady who had a, like, twelve page long invoice, and about five items missing from her delivery. I was looking through her invoice to see if she was charged for the items, so I could work out whether to replace or reorder, and every five seconds she was all, "Have you got it? Have you found it yet?" I also had a 45 minute call today, which was a task and a half, but at least the lady was really nice about it!

Last night, I accepted an offer to live in a house with my friends Jamie and Cassie in September. I'm late submitting my finance application but I don't see any reason why I wouldn't get it, even if it's late. I have enough to cover the first payment on the house, so all should be fine. (Touch wood, because you know what my luck's like.)

I got sick of waiting for my room to be completely done. I've moved my desk, which makes being at my laptop more comfortable because I can now turn it round and sit cross-legged on the end of my bed. Anyway, I started redoing my Myspace layout. It's not done yet but half the work is thinking up content to put in it.

I've started to grow quite close to Dustin, Vanessa's (ex?) boyfriend. I've offered myself as someone for him to rely on. He loves Vanessa to bits and pieces but he gets so paranoid she might leave him that it's finally driven her away. I really hope they work things out. It seems to me that both are blind to how much the other adores them.

I think tonight I'll get settled in bed early and start on my new book. I can't wait any longer. Maybe grab some snacks and a coke. :)

It's your god-forsaken right to be loved

2008-07-05T21:46:23Z

We went shopping today in Leicester, primarily because most of the clothes I got for my birthday didn't fit and had to go back. Fiona and I went off together while our parents went to the boring places like Marks & Spencers, BHS and John Lewis. We went to Shake It Baby, which I dearly missed during my time at home, along with various clubs that we passed on the way to the multi storey car park. I miss Leicester and my boys (and Cassie and Beth) and dancing all night long and happy 4 am walks home arm-in-arm with Jamie.

I have something new to read for the first time in far too long. It's called 'Labyrinth', by Kate Mosse. I can't decide whether to start it now, or wait until we go on holiday (which isn't even booked yet; I'll be so mad at Dad if he doesn't manage to get us one because he's been told so many times to get it sorted). It's pretty damn thick. Perhaps I'll start it when I've finished my room. Fresh incentive.

I also bought a new dress.

On Wednesday, my Mum turned 50. We went for a meal at a Chinese restaurant in town and I had a duck and mushroom dish in oyster sauce.

Also, my iPod came. I've ordered a couple of cases because it's far too pretty to get scratched.

I still like my job, which I find pretty impressive. It's not too demanding, there's always people willing to help, and the three-digit number on my bank statements each week certainly puts a smile on my face.

Despite the fact that all my friends seem so far away right now, I love how close Fiona and I have become. Sure, we bicker, but that's expected of sisters. She'll be finishing school for the summer soon. I know she'll want to spend time with her friends but I hope she doesn't forget me. I like the way things are.

Current Favourite Songs (in no particular order):
1. 'When I Get Home You Are So Dead' - Mayday Parade
2. 'No Substitute Love' - Estelle
3. 'Still Crazy' - Paolo Nutini
4. 'Out Tonight' - Rent Soundtrack
5. 'Powerless' - Nelly Furtado
6. 'Cuntry Boys and City Girls' - The Fratellis
7. 'I'm Yours' - Jason Mraz
8. 'You All Believe' - Danger Radio
9. 'Love Song' - Sara Bareilles
10. 'You've Got A Friend In Me' - Backseat Goodbye